How to quarrel good with your spouse

Have you and your spouse fight about something small and then somehow the quarrel turned into an all-out brawl where you yell about things that are happening in months or even years ago? If so, one or both of you may not know "how to quarrel good"! Here's how a quarrel good and if you apply it, you will have a healthy and happy relationship.

1. Do not be afraid to confront and discuss problem as soon as possible
You can not solve the problem if you are too afraid to confront. You have to talk about things that bother you so that you and your spouse can really become a team. Marriage requires two people, so talk! Accumulate problem will only produce greater explosion at a later date. If you are in public or in a place where you do not feel comfortable to solve a problem is at least acknowledge that there are problems between the two and set a specific time to talk about the problem when you are in a place or conditions more comfortable.

2. Say it plainly what is bothering you and do not widening of the existing problems
Tell about the things that make you upset and why. Explains much detail as possible will help your spouse understand your viewpoint and look for the best way to resolve the issue. Often, we start arguing about the crumbs on the table, and then ends with the phrase "and I hate when you do this and I'm upset when you do that!" Stay focused on the problems that exist today only.

3. Avoid Generalization
Try not say, "You always" or "You never" because these words cause people to become defensive and can trigger your spouse to attack you.

4. Believe in what your spouse says
If your spouse says, "You like this", then most probably that's the way you are. Do not even say "I'm not so anyway!" Trust that your spouse knows you well enough and that she will not lie to you about what she saw.

5. Avoid personal insults
Do not say things that you can not pull back (and will make you regret it later on). Attacking the character of your spouse or appearance your spouse is something that really can hurt them and they will remember it and think of it as an insult that comes from your mouth.

Quarrel good

6. Listen carefully
Realize that you are NOT always true! Listen to what your spouse is saying when you are having a conflict. With this way maybe you will learn what went wrong and learn not to repeat them.

7. Quarreled with the aim to solve problems, not to win
Quarrel is not a competition or a game. The more you both know it, you'll both be happy. Contemplate that no party really win when you fight. Victory in contention is when you are both able to resolve the problem and did not return repeated.

8. Always remind your spouse that you love him
Let your spouse know that you love them after your problem resolved. Saying "I love you" is certainly the most obvious way, but a warm hug or a passionate kiss is another way that you can do to lighten the mood / tension between you and your spouse. Good Luck!!!



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